Swine Flu Freak Out!!

Goodness, I'm just a blogging fool these days! Since Kendall has been feeling better (and now eating better) she has just let her little personality shine. I posted this video because, of course, I love her laugh, and also, I think she is seeing the pin wheel. Kamden worked with her this evening on tracking and I really think she's seeing. What do you think?

I cancelled Kendall's surgery next week and re-scheduled for May 20. Ft. Worth ISD is officially closed until May 11, and MayFest has been cancelled. (bummed about that, since that's something Kamden and I attend every year)all due to the Swine Flu. I dont usually get worked up about these things, but since any type of flu or high fevered illness can cause serious issues in Kendall, I'm a little more worried. Kamden's school hasn't been closed yet, but a lot of districts around us are. I think by the end of the evening they will as well. I just figured sitting in hospitals and waiting rooms next week would probably not be the best idea. I think it is definitely better to be safe than sorry.

Kendall's seizures were tough today. I called the Neuro and we are officially going to start on Vigabatrin as soon as it comes in. Hopefully this will work. It seems like she will be on a lot of medicine, but we have to do it. This is our last option before ACTH...so hopefully it will work.

We are going to move Kendall's crib into our room in hopes of beginning the transition into her own room. This is a big week for me! First weaning, and now moving her from our bed....I'm not holding my breath on this one though. She hasn't been sleeping very well at all lately. She sleeps soundly for about 2 hours and then to the minute is awake again. Wish us luck. We all need better sleep around here.

Nutritionist

In case you don't already know....Kendall is a stroke survivor! She had a stroke in utero. We don't know when but we have a pretty good idea of why. You can just read to the right to get some of the details or scroll down to my re-cap to get the whole story.

Thought I would post this picture in recognition of Childhood Stroke Awareness Day on May 2. There are a group of people over at the Pediatric Stroke Network who work very hard lobbying to spread the word that kids, toddlers, infants, even unborn babies have strokes. Hopefully one day, when my life slows down, and all of this truly sinks in, our family will be able to do more to help spread awareness.

Since Kendall had a stroke, obviously she faces challenges most children don't. Eating is one of those challenges. For me, breastfeeding has been a huge part of Kendall's first year. I breastfed Kamden, but not for a whole year. I'm not one of those over-the-top people who breastfeeds openly in say, an airport, or posts pictures of me breastfeeding on Facebook, but I would definitely say I'm opinionated on the topic. I believe employers should make it easier for women to breastfeed. I think working moms have enough obstacles to overcome in the workplace, and they shouldn't have to justify giving their babies the best nutritional start. I have opinions, but I wouldn't say I'm judgemental. I think there is a stigma attached to breastfeeding moms, just as there is for moms who don't breastfeed. To each his own. But for me, nursing Kendall gave me the ability to know I was giving her something research has proven is "brain food!" It hasn't been easy. It hasn't always been comfortable. But, it has worked for us.

Until now.

The Nutritionist from ECI was here yesterday and we discovered that Kendall has lost weight. She went from being in the 90th percentile to the 10th. Breast milk isn't cutting it anymore. She's not eating enough solid foods to sustain her either. So, we made the decision to start her on Pediasure in place of whole milk or breast milk. She will continue to eat, but the extra calories and nutrition she'll get from the Pediasure will hopefully give her enough calories to keep up with her therapy, seizures, and play. I know this may not sound too bad, but it is a step back for me. Kendall losing her eating ability has always been a big fear of mine. I spend a lot of time each day monitoring how much she eats, and feeding her. So in a way, I feel like we've failed...

If you breastfed your child for any length of time, you know stopping is hard both emotionally and physically. I feel like crying every time I think about it. I feel a disconnect with her during the day. (I'm going to continue the night time nursing) And, the pain associated with stopping cannot be explained in words. It's horrible. Please lift us up in your prayers this week...

Sibling Fun!

Here's a video of Kendall and Kamden playing together! Kendall's issues aside, I always thought it would be harder for Kamden to bond with a sibling since he was 7 when she was born. They bond. Everyday. Kamden can make Kendall laugh like nobody else. He is such a good helper too. And yes, Kamden uses that voice all the time. He talks a lot, and his voice ALWAYS sounds like that. Now you understand why Justin and I can only take road trips with Kamden on occasion. Anyhow, it's another video of Kendall laughing...and I can't get enough of it! If I could bottle it, I would!

I have lots of updates about the Nutritionist and such, but since I'm still under the weather, I probably should go to bed!

Oh, by the way, I did create a montage of Kendall's first year. Its at the bottom of the page.

Goodnight!

Ho Hum

Well, I guess I should start off by saying I went back to the Dr. yesterday. My rash was worse. I knew the Dr. wouldn't know what was wrong. We went through the list of things I've eaten, etc. He ordered a strep test. I figured he was just trying to get his PM "push money" or spiff (If Dr.'s get those...don't thing they do though) on the test. So, I waited patiently and found out five minutes later, I do have strep. That's why the rash. He said my throat was really red. Funny, I was too pre-occupied with my uncontrollable itching to notice.

I immediately was worried about Kendall. Her strep test last week came back negative, but you know how strep can be... She had an appointment this morning for her immunizations. We never got them, because....no silly, she doesn't have strep. She has an ear-infection. So here we start on antibiotics.

Kendall still remains in the less than 3rd percentile on her head circumference. Its 16.25 inches. Normal size for ummm.... a 3 month old! She's 19 pounds and 30.5 inches long. Definitely long and lean taking after her daddy!

On another note...the Pediatrician said we could turn her car-seat around. She is in a big girl seat, but I still have it rear facing. I thought I read somewhere that when their head control is lacking, you should keep them rear facing? If any of you guys knows anything about car seats, please advise!

So we keep trucking as always. They will re-check her next Tuesday, but I think there is a strong possibility her surgery on the 6th will be postponed.

So, ho hum.

A Birthday Message From Daddy...

Happy Birthday Kendall! I can't believe my monkey is one year old today. I couldn't be more proud of you and I could never express my love for you in words so I won't even try. You have been through a lot this year and still face the unknown with a smile. Oh that little smile! It has the ability to instantly cheer me up and is more contagious than the swine flu. That little smile reminds me that it doesn't matter what hand we are dealt in life, it only matters how you play it. I am proud of the little girl you are turning into. You have taught me a lot about what is really important in my life and I am a better person because of you. For me, life is about the journey with those you love and I want you to know that whatever the future holds, your family will be there for you always.

Love,

Daddy

P.S. Jocie, things are hard sometimes and some days my best isn't good enough, but don't ever doubt how much you mean to me or how much I love you.