Better.

Thanks for all the comments, phone calls, and e-mails I received after my last post. I'm better now. Sledding is over-rated for sure. Vodka is not.

After a wonderful lunch today with a few special mommas, I realized it's all going to be ok. My feelings are what they are. A lot of us have been dealt crappy cards, but we choose how to play them. I refuse to fold just yet.

My brain has been on overload since my first semester of grad school started (yeah, it makes me feel cool to say that!). I've forgotten what it's like to read chapter upon chapter of facts, statistics, and philosophies. Everything makes so much sense in the book, but then when I look at all of our lives and the practical applications for the families, it makes my head spin. The most recent chapter I read was about families of children with disabilities and their quality of life. Seriously. Quality of life. The divorce rates of families of children with disabilities is astounding. The poverty rate is even more shocking. It was pretty depressing...but definitely made me realize how lucky I am. Having a circle of friends in the "blog-o-sphere" has been a life saver for me. The books I've read on raising a child with issues (my most-favorite are pictured above) definitely made me realize it is ok to have a sense of humor about things. We have to, right?

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't second guessing starting school. Already through the online discussion threads (people get pretty brave behind their computers) it's made me seriously question some of the teachers in the system! But I'm sure the same could be said about general education teachers as well. I'd like to think people don't go into any type of special education for the money...most seem to be very passionate about their jobs and advocating for the families... but there's always a few people who just don't "get it." I'm just way too emotionally involved I guess.

With Kendall's initial IEP in a few weeks, I'm becoming more and more apprehensive. Not that I don't trust our district. I do. It's just such a big, scary world out there, and sending my 3 year old to school 5 days a week for 4 hours is a little unnerving.

So, I'm not really sure how I got on that tangent. Again, this blog is such a great way to hash out my emotions and move on. So that's what I'll do. I'd better get to bed. We're expecting another snow/ice day tomorrow... and I fully intend on bundling Kendall up and letting her play in the snow. Maybe not sledding...but baby steps.